Wednesday, January 9, 2008

The Nigerian Man vs the European Man

Oooooh weee. Now that's one controversial topic isn't it?

I remember many moons ago on a date I was asked by a Nigerian guy why Nigerian/black women choose to date white guys instead of black guys, as he'd noticed this seemed to be more of a trend when it had always been the other way round.

I thought, and thought, and thought. And the simple generalised answer was they treat women better.

Not being one to leave a stone unturned I asked him why Nigerian/black guys date white/European women...and (sit tight ladies) he said they're easier and freakier!

Yep I practically fell off my chair and yep, that was the end of that. Sorry mate but there's something about that line of thought that doesn't sit well with me.

I believe in people, some are good, some are bad.
Some black guys are players, some white guys are players.
Some black guys treat their women well, some don't.
Some white guys treat their women well, some don't.
Some black girls are easy, some aren't.
Some white girls are easy, some aren't.

See what I mean? Its all about equal opportunities. And I think the main thing is to make sure you find someone that treats you the way you want to be treated. Or at least have the strength of character to hold out for someone who treats you the way you want to be treated.

Over Xmas a really good friend of mine, an English guy who works for Shell was in Nigeria for work. Bonny Island then Lagos for a few days. So I met up with him (well call him Mr S)and another friend for lunch and I asked him a lot about his perceptions in Lagos. Now this guy knows a fair amount of Nigerians from London, one of his best friends is Nigerian so he had a pretty good idea of what to expect. So none of it was a big shock. he observed all the men seem to honestly believe they're king of the castle (he'd been to 6 degrees the night before)....which is amusing when you're in a room rammed with guys. And he observed that Nigerians really know how to PARTY. Well yes, but I think you already knew that.

But the funniest/saddest/most insane thing he said was something a northern guy had said to him when he was in PH.

Now Mr S knows when in China/Movida/Cristal the black guys get treated like friggin celebrities, the girls love them and its usually a champagne-off between the table of Nigerians and footballers to see who can order the most champagne.

So he was a little surprised to notice in PH the women were fawning all over him and treating him like a celebrity. (his first time there and majority of stories he'd been told were of kidnappings!)

So Mr Northerner points out "Oh Mr S, its because you white men treat your women differently"
Mr S "Really? How so?"
Mr Northerner " Oh you know you say please, thank you, baby, I love you. But a Nigerian man says shut up, woman, do it now".

I'm not lying and he wasn't lying either!!!!


ladi said...

lol.Thats funny. Sometimes its the culture difference between both countries/ continents that permits/prompts guys to act a certain way.

Oyinkan said...

Very funny and very true

Naija Chickito said...

I'd choose a Nigerian man any day over a European man. Reason:The culture difference is not wide and we'd easily fit into each others lives.
But I wish our own men could show more courtesy to their women even after 5 years of marriage!

Uzo said...

Really? LOL...Well there you go...

I try not to stereotype...One of my best friends is Nigerian and is one of the sweetest, most romantic polite men out there...while i dated a multiracial man that was truly the devil's brother...

So its all about the individual...

Afrobabe said...

hmmm...true to an extent but I would throw in my lot with a naija man..reason being a white man gets tired of a relation/marriage and just walks out...a nigerian will try to work at it...

I am not in support of a loveless relationship..but if there was love once a little trying will really help.

Tiger Tem said...

My main thing with relationships is to find someone who treats you the way you want to be treated regardless of race, religion etc.

Different things work for different people. Just don't stay with someone who makes you feel bad.

Bad behaviour in general seems prevalent amongst Nigerians but take a look at any small subsect of society with a lot of cash and access and I think it all looks the same...welcome to the OC bee-yatch!

lanre said...

i agree completely with your equal opportunities rhyme - there's a little bit of everything everywhere.

there are european men who have what i call the 'oonga boonga' complex and treat non-white women like exotic fantasies which is just as bad as 'shut up woman'!